perder la vida

Learning to Live Missionally and Mindfully

Why I still love Jennifer Knapp January 27, 2008

Filed under: ME — Katie @ 8:27 am

“Refine Me”

I come into this place, burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains from wars I’ve fought for my own selfish gain
You’re my God and my Father
I’ve accepted Your son
But my soul feels so empty now
What I have become?

Lord, come with your fire
Burn my desires, refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me 
Refine me

My heart can’t see when I only look at me
My soul can’t hear when I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You’re forever the same
Why did I look away from you?
How can I speak your name?

Lord, come with your fire
Burn my desires, refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
for I long to be reconciled to you

It’s all I can do to give my heart and soul to you and pray
and pray, oh I will pray

Lord, come with your fire
Burn my desires, refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
for I long to be reconciled to you

Another one of those songs that had been lost in the Great Laptop Sale of 2006… but I recently recovered it, as well as several other songs of hers. Why is she so amazing? Why did she disappear off the face of the planet!?

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Three in One January 20, 2008

Filed under: ME — Katie @ 6:27 pm

I am currently on a date with myself at Panera in Tuscaloosa. I am quite the conversationalist. 🙂  I decided that I haven’t updated in a while, so I’ll do my three favorite types of blogs because I can.

Life Update:

The past few weeks have been intense. I have moved, started school, started over…. all sorts of exciting things. So, I thought I would give a life update for those of you who care but are too lazy to call. 🙂 Just kidding! But seriously, a life update:

Classes: So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, SO glad I went back! I am enjoying all of my classes thus far and can’t believe I didn’t go back sooner!

Dorm life: Love it/hate it. I hate how small it is, but I love the fact that I can just get up and walk to class!

Roommate: She is awesome!

Work: Being back in the office is weird after working from home for over a year…. but I like it. I have TWO desks…. and lots of office supplies. I have an amazing three hole punch and a sweet Swingline stapler. Work life couldn’t get much better than that!

Cafeteria food: I didn’t go to the caf for the first whole week I was in the dorms, but I finally broke down and went and…. you know what, it just isn’t that bad. It isn’t that great, but it isn’t that bad either.

Rest of my life: Pretty crazy, but pretty good.

Documentaries:

I watched some documentaries this past week…. here’s my thoughts:

Jonestown: This was about Jonestown…. obviously. I had heard of the People’s Temple and what happened in Jonestown, Guyana, but I had never heard the whole story. I was shocked…. perplexed, actually. The filmmaker interviewed the three People’s Temple members who were present the day of the suicide but managed to escape and their account of the events was chilling. As one of the survivors put it, the slaughter was just “a waste.”

The Eyes of Tammy Faye: Same as above…. I heard of Tammy Faye Bakker/Messner, but never really knew her story until yesterday. I have heard some interviews that make me question her theology, but overall, the poor girl has been through enough heartache to last a million lifetimes. She was a little loopy, but…. you gotta love her!

Spiritual Content:

    I have learned over the past few weeks that when God calls me to do something, I need to just do it. I tend to make all sorts of excuses for running the opposite direction, but that’s when God puts me in the belly of the whale until I learn that I really do want to go to Nineveh…. or school… or in a new direction. I have to remember that His ways are Higher, His thoughts are purer, His plan is better…. If I would just accept it to begin with rather than debating it, life would probably be a lot simpler.
    I was talking with somefriends the other night and our conversation confirmed that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am where I am supposed to be. I am who I am supposed to be. For now, at least. Something I was reminded of was how I read Bible stories and often think that these people just had it together. Abraham, for instance, as we all know… got to the point that he was willing to sacrifice Isaac on the altar. When we read that story, we know the ending, so we can see Abraham’s actions as being his determination to follow God. But, if we put ourselves in Abraham’s shoes, we have to see that he didn’t know what was going to happen. He only knew that God was telling him do something, so he did it. Sometimes we don’t know what’s going to happen if we go one way or another, but what we DO know is that God is going to protect us. He has a plan for us and He will not forsake us or abandon us. We just have to trust…. and let go.
    God cannot possibly surprise me or sustain me more than He already has… it’s hard to imagine that He’ll keep amazing me for the rest of my life. Things always work out…. even when they don’t, they still work out because He knows what we cannot know. He sees what we cannot see.

That’s all, folks!

 

The New Year January 2, 2008

Filed under: ME — Katie @ 1:27 pm

I had to write today’s date and it hit me that it’s 2008 now. I didn’t do a the two major things I always thought I’d do in 2007, which were to graduate from college and get married… but, I’m completely happy with the absence of those two events at this point in my life.

I think I did well with my resolutions for last year, though. I had four… get out of debt, spend more time with my grandparents and family, live for the moment, and read more books. I paid off my last credit card in the spring and the only debt I have left is my car loan. I saw more of my grandparents in 2007 than in 2006, but still not as much as I would have liked. I don’t know how to judge whether or not I have really learned to “live in the moment,” but I think deciding to put my life on hold and go back to school is a pretty big step. And, I certainly read more books although I did not keep a thorough list of them which was part of my resolution. 

I thought about what I wanted my resolutions to be for 2008, and here’s what I came up with:

1. Kick booty in all of my classes
2. Travel to Chicago or back to NYC
3. Embrace life fully
4. Do more of the things I love – sing, see a play, hear a choir, etc.

I don’t want to make this a resolution as much as I want to make it a challenge…. but I want to read more books this year than I did last year. Since I didn’t make a list like I had intended, I have to guess that I read about 15 books, which is not bad for someone who has been as busy as I have this year. So, this coming year, I’d like to read at least 16 books AND I would like to keep a list of them. 

We’re only two days into the new year, and my life is already changing. I am praying that this is an amazing year. 

Oh, and my birthday will be 08-18-08 this year….. how exciting! 🙂