perder la vida

Learning to Live Missionally and Mindfully

Undergarments December 27, 2008

Filed under: ME,mindful living,Shopping — Katie @ 2:31 pm

I received my first gift card since I started this challenge. My cousin gave me a $25 gift card to Victoria’s Secret. I almost don’t know what to do with it. I honestly don’t really need more…. undergarments. Sure, I could always use more undergarments… I love… undergarments… but do I really need them?

No.

So. Now I am conflicted. If you know anyone who needs some… undergarments… let me know. I think I’ll be passing this gift card to someone else.

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A Christmas Story December 26, 2008

Filed under: ME — Katie @ 7:20 am

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl who was not looking forward to Christmas with the same passion and excitement as she ahd in years past….

That’s enough of that! It’s true, though. I really was disillusioned with Christmas this year. For some reason, I missed my dad a lot more this year than over the past two Christmases. With my grandmother and cousin Jonathan gone, I knew Christmas was going to be much, much different. What I didn’t expect was that the new traditions my family had planned were going to be just what we needed.

Instead of a big family lunch or dinner this year, my Aunt Susan hosted breakfast at her house. I had NO idea how fun this was going to be. Many of us showed up in our pajamas and we just ate and laughed and chatted and dipped beer-battered candy bars into the frier and shared our creations. It was awesome. All of my aunts and uncles were even there at one time for a few moments (there are six of them, plus their spouses!). We all agreed that THIS was the new tradition. An extended family pajama party on Christmas morning. What more could you ask for?

Everyone did their own thing for lunch… some went to their in-laws’, mom and I watched Dan in Real Life and tried to digest all the breakfast goodies. She and I also went to the nursing home and then to the cemetery. Then my whole extended family met back up at my granddaddy’s for dessert. It was an incredible day. I was supposed to go to the movies (a Christmas tradition that I started), but… something came up for me that was more important. So, my family went without me and they agreed to take me another day.

Anyway, I don’t really know why I’m writing all of this… it won’t mean nearly as much to anyone else because you, sadly, are not a part of the most AMAZING family on the face of the earth! I hate that for you, really I do. Maybe next year I will stretch out a hand of generosity and invite you to the pajama party. 🙂 

I guess the point of this is that I really had low expectations for Christmas. I really, really wanted my dad to be here. I often dream of all the things I would be doing for him now (letting him try my new recipes, telling him about how nervous I am about starting UA, taking him to Christmas parades, etc.). Maybe that isn’t good for my mental health, but… it just happens! But, Christmas took me by surprise and I soaked up every minute of it. Oh, and I got some good gifts, too. But they pale in comparison to the gift of family. That is what really means the most to me.

 

Getting Creative December 20, 2008

Filed under: ME — Katie @ 3:12 pm

Some friends of mine mentioned that I haven’t updated this blog in a while. The reason is simple. How many ways can I say “I still haven’t bought any clothes or really had to fight the urge to buy clothes.”? I don’t know what it is, but I still have not really struggled with this. But, what I realized is that a major component of this experiment has nothing to do with spending money. It has to do with my creativity.

Part of the reason I wanted to do this little challenge is because I have so many clothes that I only wear one way. I have a dress that I wear with the same shoes every time. I have a shirt that I wear with the same cardigan. What I wanted to learn to do is to mix up my wardrobe so that each time I wear a piece of clothing, it’s different from the last time I wore it… therefore, making it feel almost like a new outfit.

The first “aha!” moment I had with this part of the experiment was last Saturday. I had to go to my sister’s graduation (she received her master’s in special ed! Go sis!) and needed to wear a dress. Now, I was pretty sick on this day so I needed something very comfortable, but still sort of dressy. I have this brown dress that I bought at the Gap for $20 a few months ago and I’ve only worn it once because… well, it’s just not that cute on me. But, it is SUPER comfortable. So, I paired it with a cute cardigan, black tights, and my burgandy sweater UGGS (I’ll post a picture another day) and I LOVED the outfit! I felt so great in it! I realized that normally, I probably would have either worn something I hated or gone out to buy another dress, but I found something within my closet that I absolutely adored…. and I plan to wear it again soon.

So, although I did struggle a teency weency bit yesterday when the GAP saleslady (I was looking for a gift for my mom) told me the long sleeve tees were on sale for $10, I really have done quite well with not wanting to purchase clothes. I have also been pretty frugal in other areas – recently splurging on some computer games from amazon.com (I bought them used for about $10 each  and figure the gas money I’ve been saving validates my purchase).

So. There’s you’re update. My creativity juices are flowing with my wardrobe and I’m pretty excited about all the creations I’m coming up with! I will start taking pictures when I have these “aha!” moments so you can see my creations, too!

 

the journey to healing

Filed under: ME — Katie @ 7:47 am

For those of you who don’t know, I have been out of work and school since Tuesday, December 9. I woke up that day feeling fine and ended up with a 102 degree fever by around 2pm. I came straight home and crawled on the couch and started a Z-pack that night. Cough syrup, a prescription for a distant cousin of penicillin, and two steroid shots later, I’m finally starting to feel better. My symptoms seem to be fading and my energy is returning. The sad thing is that my doctor has really no clue what made me so sick. We thought I had mono, but my bloodwork came back negative for the virus that causes mono. I feel a bit invalidated since I can’t say "oh, yeah, I had such-and-such that kept me out of work and school for two weeks." Instead, all I cansay is that I had some sort of virus that kicked my immune system’s tail and was resistant to every medicine I tried. But… and I hate to make this all sentimental and crap… this two weeks has really opened my eyes to something I have tried to ignore.

I need rest. And I don’t meant to catch up on sleep or be lazy. I need time for myself, time to heal and recoup. Time to lounge and do things for myself. Time to bake batches of cookies and clean my house. Time to do my laundry and read books. Time to sip a cup of coffee every morning and read the news. I need time to rest.

One of my faults is that I am a workaholic. I love being busy. Maybe it is covering up some sort of psychological issue, but I love to be busy. For the past couple of months, I’ve really outdone myself at work. I am scheduled to work 20-22 hours a week and usually end up working around 30. I volunteer to stay late, to work on Saturdays. And it really started to affect every part of my life. I wasn’t getting my schoolwork done (which should be my priority) and I wasn’t helping out around the house (and was therefore very grumpy beacuse I hate living in a messy house!). I was staying in on Friday nights and skipping out on the gym. I have always done this with every part time job I’ve had. I’d pick up extra shifts at Gospel Supply and at CARS…. oh man. Over the summer, I was working 50-60 hours a week on top of taking a summer class.

Being stuck at home for two weeks has been a bit frustrating because there is so much I want to be doing. But, I have finally realized that this is exactly what I needed. I needed some time to recoup and reevaluate things and I think 2009 is going to be much different. I have enough money from my student loans that I will only need to work around 15-20 hours a week. So, that’s what I’m going to do. Period. My future career is so important to me that I need to remember to save my workaholic tendencies for teaching… not for leasing apartments.

Sometimes I feel guilty for doing the things I love. I feel like I should be working or contributing to something or someone else. But I have learned that you have to focus on yourself from time to time and do the things you love… for me, it’s cleaning house for a bit on Saturdays and writing Christmas cards. It’s baking treats for my friends and organizing my closet. It’s getting all my school work done and being ahead of the game. It’s checking off my to-do list and feeling a sense of accomplishment. But, when I do those things, I find that I am more able and willing to do things for others. So, in a sense, doing things for myself makes me the person I need to be so that I can do things for others.

The journey to healing has been an interesting one. I am still on a bit of a break… I only have to work half a day Christmas Eve and then not again until the Monday after Christmas. I’ve got a lot of things I want to get done and I think I’ll be able to accomplish them and that will make me feel even better!  My encouragement to you is that if you are like me, learn to rest. Learn to stop long enough to enjoy life and not rush through it. Learn to appreciate your time and value yourself. Life will be much better when you do.

The end.